Love is supposed to be beautiful and inspiring. A perfect emotion filled with sunsets of gold. Yeah well, that only happens on the first episode of soap operas. Real life love is more awkward.
I just finished reading “The Rosie Project” which made me laugh out loud multiple times during the calculated quest the main character makes to select suitable love mates from a questionnaire he scientifically creates. It is a hilarious read if you’ve ever been on a bad first date.
On my worst first date, I was invited to go cross-country skiing. I thought it sounded great, but by the end of the last ski loop he had layers of snot frozen into his mustache and goatee. And then he tried to kiss me. Fortunately I was able to deflect him with a ski pole. There was no second date for snotman.
Becky Anderson, author of “We’re NOT Sixteen Anymore: The Saga of an Old Prune and Her Dates” (to be released by WriteLife Publishing in June 2016) had a similar bad experience and shares, “I met a date at a casino eating area in order to sit and visit and get to know one another. While this particular casino is locally known for its delicious food, my early evening date evidently had no intention of buying me a meal when we could fill our stomachs up with FREE coffee and pop. But the conversation was fun, and I was enjoying just being out and about, so I thought nothing of it. Eventually, the laws of physics prevailed that dictate what goes in must come out, and we decided to visit the restrooms. I hurried in and out, then waited for quite a while for my date to appear. I was beginning to wonder if he’d ditched me and snuck out when out he appeared. Almost his first words to me were, “Well, that was profitable!” He opened up a fistful of coins, and my immediate reaction was that the ladies’ room didn’t have any slot machines in it! Oh, no. He didn’t get the money from slots – he got it from a bowl. A TOILET bowl to be exact! In spite of assurance that he’d washed it very carefully, I couldn’t get the image of this grown man fishing for treasure in a germ-laden toilet bowl. Needless to say, the date ended there!”
Another author, Lucy Adkins (co-author of Writing in Community) had better luck than both of us, but it took perseverance. She shares, “It was in the fall of my sophomore year in college, and I‘d met this intriguing young man in my English Class. He was red-haired, wore desert boots and an army jacket, (“cool” attire of the times); he was funny and sweet, and there was that “something” about him. You know what I’m talking about. Three times he’d taken me out, but at the end of each evening, there was just a quick goodbye kiss at the dorm elevator. What was wrong? I was ready for two kisses in a row, at least. Maybe three. So maybe he felt I was just “good company” but that was as far as his feelings went. The dates went on, however, and I finally got the kind of “real” kiss I wanted. That good looking red-haired guy is now my husband, and as he shared with me later, he was afraid that if he came on too strong, he might lose me.” They will soon celebrate their 45th anniversary!
If you love reading of other’s failures and successes at finding love, you should definitely check out Diary of an Online Dating Junkie. Author Dawn Marie shares hilarious and real adventures in love: After more than 15 years of marriage, Dawn Marie’s got a divorce, a daughter, and a dilemma. Diary of an Online Dating Junkie chronicles, in hilarious and heartwarming detail, the real life journey of a woman who finds herself looking for love online. The road is bumpy and filled with incredible highs, like a shiny new Porsche, and devastating lows, like an empty bank account and a rock hard bed in a tiny trailer. Dawn takes her experiences in stride and it doesn’t take long for her to realize that finding true love might just be the most difficult test of her life.
And if you’re in a relationship that you really care about and want to work on (because we all know that real relationships take work and commitment) here is a great advice book: He Said, She Said, I Said by Barbara J. Peters.
Relationships are complicated, people aren’t perfect, and we can often each get caught in the narrow pathways of our own perceptions. When situations occur where opinions or points of view differ, a couple’s connection can either be strengthened or weakened depending on how their differences are handled.
When a couple is engaged in the dance of relationship, it can sometimes be hard to recognize where they might be caught in the trap of what they think is occurring instead of stepping out of that mire to find out what is really going on. Often, the way one or both people are viewing the situation is at the core of the relationship issues.
In He Said, She Said, I Said, couples’ counselor Barbara J. Peters breaks down possible perceptions and misconceptions in seven key relationship areas: communication, trust, forgiveness, intimacy, acceptance, friendship, and love, by using common sense, wisdom, and some professional advice to open up the possibility for a different approach.
*All books by BQB and WriteLife Publishing can be purchased at Amazon.com as well as ordered through your favorite local bookstore.*