Guest Post: Marla Benjamin on being a Book Club Dropout

Tags

author, Book Clubs, books, reading

I love a good book club discussion. It all starts with an intriguing read, probing questions and a balanced conversation. Throw in some appetizers or dessert, a little wine and an evening away from my kids and I always have a great time.

On my street, some women and I have decided to fire up a new club and we’ll start next month. Our first read is “Boys in the Boat” by Daniel James Brown. I’ll be sure to let you know how it is after our meeting.

BQB Author Marla K. Benjamin was a part of a long standing book club as well. But then she dropped out. Following is a guest post from Marla on her inspiring reasons:

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I am a Book Club Dropout by Marla K. Benjamin

So, how does one start to write a book or better yet, why? It was something I had thought about for years, but I lacked inspiration . . . and drive. I was reading pretty avidly though and that seemed to initially provide the spark that I needed.

In 2008, my friend Peggy started a book club, aka the Book Club Gangstas, and I was all in at first. We’d pick out a book and then meet the next month to chat it up – pretty standard. Several years in though, I found myself actually not reading at all. I still went to book club, of course, to eat and visit, but after awhile, I started contemplating writing a book rather than listening to everyone else discuss the one they just read (and I didn’t).

That was when my friend Amy invited me to a writer workshop, and I became an official book club dropout. I told the club that I would be back though, and, with any luck, I would have a book they could add to their reading list.

I had had a character in my head for a long time, but I just didn’t quite know what to do with him. Headlines at the time literally propelled me forward with a plot and a full storyline. I felt lucky and overwhelmed, but I just kept hammering away and four months later, I found my ending. It was a great feeling to be finished, but still it seemed a hallow accomplishment for me.

Everyone said, “Oh my gosh! You wrote a book! That’s so great!” And it was, except it wasn’t. To me, it was simply a word doc. That’s not sexy, AND, in my opinion, that’s not a book. So, I began my quest to be published and a year and half later, the wheels were finally in motion.

It’s been a long, tough and trying journey at times, but I haven’t been alone. My friends, my family, my beta readers including the Book Club Gangstas all gave me the support and encouragement I needed. I am so grateful.

So, that’s the story of my story and I have to say, it happened quite authentically. What followed was “A Light in the Dark” and I have absolutely no regrets. The character, the story, the big picture, all of it means so very much to me. There are times when we all need a light in the dark and this book, quite obviously, is mine.

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“A Light in the Dark” is available for pre-order and will be released on May 24, 2016.

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*** All books by BQB and WriteLife Publishing are available on Amazon, B&N or can be ordered by your favorite local bookstore. ***

Love? Maybe?

Tags

Awkward Love, books, love, romance, The Rosie Project

Love is supposed to be beautiful and inspiring. A perfect emotion filled with sunsets of gold. Yeah well, that only happens on the first episode of soap operas. Real life love is more awkward.

I just finished reading “The Rosie Project” which made me laugh out loud multiple times during the calculated quest the main character makes to select suitable love mates from a questionnaire he scientifically creates. It is a hilarious read if you’ve ever been on a bad first date.

On my worst first date, I was invited to go cross-country skiing. I thought it sounded great, but by the end of the last ski loop he had layers of snot frozen into his mustache and goatee. And then he tried to kiss me. Fortunately I was able to deflect him with a ski pole. There was no second date for snotman.

Becky Anderson, author of “We’re NOT Sixteen Anymore: The Saga of an Old Prune and Her Dates” (to be released by WriteLife Publishing in June 2016) had a similar bad experience and shares, “I met a date at a casino eating area in order to sit and visit and get to know one another. While this particular casino is locally known for its delicious food, my early evening date evidently had no intention of buying me a meal when we could fill our stomachs up with FREE coffee and pop. But the conversation was fun, and I was enjoying just being out and about, so I thought nothing of it. Eventually, the laws of physics prevailed that dictate what goes in must come out, and we decided to visit the restrooms.  I hurried in and out, then waited for quite a while for my date to appear. I was beginning to wonder if he’d ditched me and snuck out when out he appeared. Almost his first words to me were, “Well, that was profitable!” He opened up a fistful of coins, and my immediate reaction was that the ladies’ room didn’t have any slot machines in it!  Oh, no. He didn’t get the money from slots – he got it from a bowl. A TOILET bowl to be exact! In spite of assurance that he’d washed it very carefully, I couldn’t get the image of this grown man fishing for treasure in a germ-laden toilet bowl. Needless to say, the date ended there!”

Another author, Lucy Adkins (co­-author of Writing in Community) had better luck than both of us, but it took perseverance. She shares, “It was in the fall of my sophomore year in college, and I‘d met this intriguing young man in my English Class.  He was red-haired, wore desert boots and an army jacket, (“cool” attire of the times); he was funny and sweet, and there was that “something” about him. You know what I’m talking about. Three times he’d taken me out, but at the end of each evening, there was just a quick goodbye kiss at the dorm elevator. What was wrong? I was ready for two kisses in a row, at least. Maybe three. So maybe he felt I was just “good company” but that was as far as his feelings went. The dates went on, however, and I finally got the kind of “real” kiss I wanted. That good looking red-haired guy is now my husband, and as he shared with me later, he was afraid that if he came on too strong, he might lose me.” They will soon celebrate their 45^th anniversary!

If you love reading of other’s failures and successes at finding love, you should definitely check out Diary of an Online Dating Junkie. Author Dawn Marie shares hilarious and real adventures in love: After more than 15 years of marriage, Dawn Marie’s got a divorce, a daughter, and a dilemma. Diary of an Online Dating Junkie chronicles, in hilarious and heartwarming detail, the real life journey of a woman who finds herself looking for love online. The road is bumpy and filled with incredible highs, like a shiny new Porsche, and devastating lows, like an empty bank account and a rock hard bed in a tiny trailer. Dawn takes her experiences in stride and it doesn’t take long for her to realize that finding true love might just be the most difficult test of her life.

And if you’re in a relationship that you really care about and want to work on (because we all know that real relationships take work and commitment) here is a great advice book: He Said, She Said, I Said by Barbara J. Peters.

Relationships are complicated, people aren’t perfect, and we can often each get caught in the narrow pathways of our own perceptions. When situations occur where opinions or points of view differ, a couple’s connection can either be strengthened or weakened depending on how their  differences are handled.

When a couple is engaged in the dance of relationship, it can sometimes be hard to recognize where they might be caught in the trap of what they think is occurring instead of stepping out of that mire to find out what is really going on. Often, the way one or both people are viewing the situation is at the core of the relationship issues.

In He Said, She Said, I Said, couples’ counselor Barbara J. Peters breaks down possible perceptions and misconceptions in seven key relationship areas: communication, trust, forgiveness, intimacy, acceptance, friendship, and love, by using common sense, wisdom, and some professional advice to open up the possibility for a different approach.

*All books by BQB and WriteLife Publishing can be purchased at Amazon.com as well as ordered through your favorite local bookstore.*

 

 

WONDERful writing that begs to be read

Tags

books, children, R.J. Palacio, self-help, Wonder, writing

If you’ve already read WONDER by R.J. Palacio, you’ll know why I’m begging others to read it. Sometimes there is a book that gives us a window into a character’s life that is so different from our own that their struggles become imprinted on our hearts. Auggie, the main character in WONDER, was born with a severe congenital craniofacial disorder. After being home schooled the first 10 years of his life, and needing many, many surgeries, the book begins just as Auggie is about to enter 5^th grade.

Thus begins a year’s worth of interactions with his classmates that are sometimes curious, sometimes confused, sometimes cruel and sometimes caring. Auggie’s determination, sense of humor, dedication to Star Wars and sensitive heart make him the most real character I’ve read about for a long time (be sure to keep the Kleenex close).

If it was up to me, this book would be required reading for every 5^th grader and adult in the universe.

WriteLife Author Elena Stowell (FLOWING WITH THE GO) is a teacher who truly knows her students hearts and eloquently states,

“WONDER is such a poignant story. Anti-bullying curricula are now requirements on most school campuses. Children, without disfigurements such as Auggie’s,  are targets because they dress differently or act too smart, don’t watch the right TV shows or somehow just don’t fit in. Each time Auggie is ostracized readers will cringe because it’s all very relatable.  Middle school can be torture. I’m sure most people remember an incident where they couldn’t sit at the “cool table,” or had a friend talk behind their back or were ignored by other students. WONDER is a book that educates readers about what it feels like to walk the world looking different with no way to change it. It teaches that above all else we have our resiliency, family and true friends to give us courage to be ourselves and go after what we want in spite of negativity that tries to keep us down.

R.J. Palacio uses the perspective of different people in Auggie’s life to remind us of our connectedness and role we play in the hurt and happiness of others.  He also reminds us that redemption is always available to us; we can right a wrong, we can forgive and we can accept. Auggie is 10 years old, but the lessons in WONDER are ageless.”

And granted, while genetic congenital craniofacial disorders are very rare, every single day children are bullied for a variety of reasons or no reason at all. Here is a list of the self-help books by BQB and WriteLife Publishing for children on a variety of topics that may offer support and understanding to an important young person in your life:

Karen’s Epilepsy by Elizabeth Baltaro – Written and illustrated by a high school student with epilepsy, Karen’s Epilepsy is a 28-page story about a girl with complex-partial seizures. When Karen’s family moves to a new city, she wonders if her new classmates will befriend her despite her differences. Karen struggles with her own self-acceptance until something unexpected happens. Written with elementary school students in mind, this heart-warming story speaks to both children and adults. With reassuring words and pictures Baltaro communicates a hopeful message of friendship, confidence, and determination.

Squiggly Gets Glasses by Dawn Clark – Squiggly just wants to fit in, but it’s hard when he looks so different from the other squirrels at school. And the class bully, Archie, doesn’t make it any easier. But, with the help of his good friends and some great adults, Squiggly learns that being different doesn’t have to be hard—it can be fun! Squiggly realizes just how special he is, how great making new friends can be, and that he doesn’t have to look like anyone else, he just has to look like Squiggly!

 

Together Again by Laurie Stephens – Have you ever felt as though you have known someone forever when you actually just met? Or felt a connection with your child or spouse that has an effortless, timeless quality? Together Again: A Spiritual Adoption Story is the true story of such a soul connection between mother and daughter. Their story spans heaven and earth and thousands of miles as the two souls are reunited through the miracle of adoption. Their journey is spiritual as well as physical.

Eartha Gets Well by Kristi and Dr. Daniel Falk – Is it a struggle to get your kids to eat healthy, want to be active, and get outside for fresh air and exercise? Then introduce them to Eartha! Eartha Gets Well is a story about a little girl who never exercised, didn’t like vegetables, and was always sick. Eartha learns how to make herself, her family, and the Earth feel better! Throughout her adventure, she realizes that she can be healthy and happy by making a few simple changes. When she realizes how easy and fun it is, she wants to tell everybody!

The Ugly Bug Ball by Michelle Burns and Dr. Anissa Freeman – Stanley the Stinkbug is upset: he isn’t invited to the Ugly Bug Ball because of his stench! Garden meanie Prissy Pray refuses to let Stanley attend the party, and that makes Stanley feel really bad about himself. Will his friends help him see how important every part of him is? Will he let Prissy Pray bully him into not going to the ball? Or will he gather his courage and overcome his fears?

Bereavement Counseling in the School Setting by Dr. Luciano Sabatini – a former school counselor and director of guidance, offers a guide to school based professionals, especially those involved in crisis counseling, on how to assist students through crisis intervention teams, educational awareness and support groups. He shares his experiences in working with bereaved students and what he has learned from them in coming to terms with a devastating loss. He also offers school leaders best practices in supporting grieving students and in managing a school grieving the death of a student.